Take More Risks

It’s official folks. Web 2.0 has finally died. It has been a long time coming for those of us who have had our senses violated by obnoxiously large fonts and clumsy AJAX interfaces. Now, the future has finally arrived!

Introducing Web 3.0, the new way to create Rich Internet Applications in a snap! The core idea behind Web 3.0 is flexibility for both the designer and the end-user. Tired of writing rigid XHTML-compliant code? Then you’ll feel right at home with the new Web3.0 HAML (Half Assed Markup Language). With the first generation of psychic web browsers just a few months away you can begin to deploy killer Web 3.0 applications in about a tenth or the time of Web 2.0. Why should you think when you can let the browser do all of the work for you?

With Web3.0 HAML p, div and span tags have been completely abolished. Instead text and images must be wrapped inside the marquee tag. Snigger if you will, it has been proved by leading usability guru Jakob Von Trapp that marquee tag’s can improve the web experience for color-blind, bearded Latvians by up to 7500%.

Tired of scripting in PHP or ASP? Good. Now you’ll no longer have to as the new psychic browsers have the ability to process all of the relevant data on the client side. This may sound complicated, but I assure you it is not! The browser will simply send a ping to your brain, it’ll then send a response and automatically generate the users’ own dream (AJAX) interface within hours. The users mileage may vary depending on their own consumption of mind altering drugs.

Those of you with older machines will have to wait until the introduction of Web 3.1 in January 2008, which will improve the efficiency of HAML apps by around 0.8%. By this time Mozilla will have released their own high-end psychic browser which will not only render your ajax interface in under an hour but it will also dress you, make your breakfast in the mornings and read you select chapter’s from Bill Gates thrilling space-age autobiography “Bearded Like The Clam” before bed time.

Why exclude any members of the family from the Web 3.0 experience. IE 8.0 Psychic Edition will be offering a kitty plugin for a rumoured premium of $5000.

This however, will not come cheaply. It is rumoured the starting price for Firefox PE 3.0 will cost around $15000. You’ll get a free mousemat and an Optimus keyboard completely free of charge.

But you can’t put a price on the future, can you?